My son's shirt

My son has a t-shirt that reads "Every day I think people can't get more stupid. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong".
And he's right. Check this out:
http://www.patentlysilly.com/

Judy Blume: Pervert

Could it be that the saccarine-sweet author of Superfudge, Double Fudge, and Fudge-a-Mania is a pervert?

Well, probably not. But let's face it, I primarily know Judy Blume as the author of such delightful childhood tales as Freckle Juice; Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret; Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing; and the aforementioned Superfudge. In spite of the kind of homogenous uniformity of shmaltzy childhood literature, these books tend to stand out. Maybe not as focal points, but at least as memorable titles. Even if you yourself didn't read them, you sure as hell know someone who did.

Being a boy, I spent far more time talking about how Spider-Man could totally kick Batman's ass than seeking out new Judy Blume books. But in spite of my limited exposure, I honestly thought it was the same kind of watery tripe you'd find in, like, The Babysitter's Club, or Flowers in the Attic. So I was very surprised to find Blume's Forever listed in Playboy's top 25 sexiest novels, and I was even more surprised to read this:

Not surprisingly, since every post-Boomer generation can pinpoint its first sexual memory in the pages of Forever, it is also the title most frequently challenged by fundamentalists, prudes and puritans.

Sweet little Judy Blume is banned? And this book is a seminal, if you'll pardon the pun, sexual icon? Still, I don't think I'll read it. The text is a little juvenile, based on the except, and I think I'm more of a Tropic of Cancer or An American Dream kind of guy these days. The book may have inspired a generation in its day, but reading about "Ralph" tonight only made me chuckle.

Link to Playboy's Sexiest Novels
Link to Forever on Amazon

Edit: Thanks, hilariously to Judy Bloom who pointed out that I was misspelling Judy Blume's name. I'm likely to get fewer hits now, but at least I'll look more professional.

Grow Your Own Pineapple!

Regular readers know that I love pineapples. Of course, the only regular readers this blog has also happen to live in my house. But this does little to invalidate my original statement.

Imagine my surprise when I learned I can grown my own pineapples! You Grow Girl has a brief but easy to follow tutorial on producing your very own pineapple plant from the discarded crown of the fruit. The best part is that it says all you need is lots of sunlight and a moderate indoor climate, two things which I think Saskatchewan can provide.

The downside of this scheme is that it takes two years to produce any fruit. There's a section that tells you how you can fool your poor plant into producing fruit after one year, but if the plant finds out it was tricked and comes after you with a cleaver or something, it's not my fault.

Link (via Kiddly)

Ice Shot Glasses

Elephant Staircase has two quick-and-dirty methods for making ice shot glasses for your next party.

Link

Lightsaber Building Tutorial

Alas, no blade. But the instructions for the handle are easy, cheap, and provides a fairly reasonable facsimile of the real thing. I mean, I'd buy one of these if I had the money, but this seems like a fun project and will go well with the Jedi costume Heather's supposed to be making for me. Until I get it, I don't think Hobo Jedi is going to be as big a hit on the Hallowe'en party circuit as I'm led to believe.

Link

Gross-out Twofer

After having read a recent story about a man who cured his asthma through regular infestations of hookworms, I was reminded of the story I read about a man who trepanned himself that made me pass out. I had the same effect from reading The Hot Zone when I got to the part describing how ebola victims bleed out, but I wisely stopped before I lost consciousness. Apparently I don't deal well with these sorts of things.

At least the hookworm story is an interesting treatment of the procedure and apparently provides some positive benefits, like the elimination of asthma and hayfever. Trepanation only gives you a good story for family reunions and first dates.

Link to hookworm story (via K5)
Link to trepanation story (via BME)

They're Made Out of Meat!

The post about Terry Bisson's short story on Boing Boing really brough back memories. I first read it about ten years ago. I love this story: it's haunting, it's poingant, it's brilliant, and it's short. It reminds me a lot of myself, actually. Without the glasses.

What I didn't know is that ths story is in the book Bears Discover Fire, and that you can buy this book for your handheld in a number of different formats. All you luddites can buy it in paper form, too. (FWIW, I feel comfortable bugging you about this as the last five books I've read have all been on my handheld.)

Link to text of story (via Boing Boing)

NO, not for the fashion

I am no fashion maven (as anyone who has heard my eleven year old daughter advise me on what to wear can attest to) but when a site has humour that appeals to me, who cares about the why. So here ya go:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/

Sex as a road to peace

I have an acquaintance that has this weird theory: if everyone in the world could have sex as often as they wanted or needed to, there would be world peace. He thinks that all conflict has to do with not getting any. I think his conflict has to do with not getting any, and that global military conflict has to do with power. His counterpoint to that is that the desire for power is part of the need for sex.

Sesame Street Videos on YouTube

This is great -- links to 47 Sesame Street clips! Includes all your favourites: Telephone Rock, Ladybug Picnic, We All Live in a Capital I, Ma-nah Ma-nah, and many others! Don't miss appearances by series regulars Oscar, Grover, Ernie and Bert, Cookie Monster, and, of course, Kermit the Frog! Thrill to special guest appearances from your favourite actors and musicians including Robert DeNiro, Natalie Portman, REM, and the late, great Johnny Cash!

But that's not all! Order today and receive a genuine Ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray! Operators are standing by!!!!!!!1!!!one!eleven

Link (via MetaFilter)

Wicked Awesome Blacklight Tatts!

I ran across this a few days ago but didn't think a lot of it. I mean, it was cool and all, but I'm not really a tattoo guy -- even though I was totally jonesing for a tatt like the one pictured. Then, last night, I was talking to my friend Beth about this site and her eyes just kept getting wider and wider like I was unloading the coolest information she'd ever heard. I had to post the link.

The good news about these UV tattoos is there are 18 colours to choose from, and Crazy Chameleon claims the inks are organic, non-carcinogenic, and totally safe with MRIs. When completely healed, which can take anywhere from 12-18 months, the Titanium White tattoos are almost invisible and show up only under blacklight (the colour inks are always visible). Richie, an artist at Electric Soul Tattoo, has posted some pictures of tattoos in various stages of healing.

Richie says he's used the inks for four years on all kinds of skin colours with no problems. He claims to know of artists who've verified that the tattoos have kept their glow after six years. Crazy Chameleon says on their site that the inks continue to glow a decade later.

Richie also says that the inks have received FDA approval, but that's somewhat misleading. The FDA approval is only for tagging plants, fish, and other wildlife with the ink, not for use on humans. From the Crazy Chameleon FAQ:

According to our manufacturer's records, this ink received USFDA approval in 1995 for use in animals, plants and fish for the purpose of tracking migration, growth patterns; breeding habits etc. No other tattoo inks have received approval in this way. Many fisheries use this ink to "mark" the fish in oceans and the ones raised to stock rivers and ponds [the same ones we hunt and fish]. The Crazy Chameleon has on file a letter dated April 3, 1995 from the Division of Programs and Enforcement Policy, USFDA, and addressed the manufacturer of our ink that shows this approval.

Furthermore, our manufacturer is in the process of updating their FDA record status relating to this product to get it listed under FDA approved Tattoo Ink. They are also seeking from said agency an additional notification that is void of any confidential or proprietary information or data [trade secrets, amounts of materials and manufacturing processes] and thus making the papers appropriate for release to the general public.

The inks don't blend the same as regular tattoo inks, so it's recommended by Crazy Chameleon that you have an experienced UV artist do your work. It may also be advisable to not have this work done if you're concerned about possible health effects. But if you're just looking for a cool tattoo, this is a guaranteed mind-blower!

Link to tattoo pictures
Link to Crazy Chameleon

Multi-User Flash Games

At The Broth you work in a shared space with as many as ten other people at the same time, moving coloured tiles around and trying to create patterns. It can be frustrating, as most people are more concerned with tearing down rather than building, but it can also be a lot of fun to work on a shared design with two or three other people.

It reminds me a lot of Someone Keeps Stealing My Letters, another multi-user site that allows you to drag those plastic fridge magnet letters around. Same idea, but sometimes I find it more appealing to write words instead of just pushing tiles. I guess I've always been more literary than visual.

Link to The Broth
Link to Someone Keeps Stealing My Letters

Grocery Store Wars

Grocery Store Wars is a brilliant Star Wars spoof produced by the Organic Trade Association. There are enough in-jokes for even the most faithful Star Wars fan, and the film itself stacks up better in a lot of different ways than any of the prequels. Don't miss out on the "making of" videos -- they're also pretty good, but not quite as funny.

Link

Life After the Oil Crash

Dear Reader,

Civilization as we know it is coming to an end soon. This is not the wacky proclamation of a doomsday cult, apocalypse bible prophecy sect, or conspiracy theory society. Rather, it is the scientific conclusion of the best paid, most widely-respected geologists, physicists, and investment bankers in the world. These are rational, professional, conservative individuals who are absolutely terrified by a phenomenon known as global "Peak Oil."

Scary stuff here. Off the charts scary. Especially when he starts trotting out the statisitics like bodies at a murder scene: 10 calories of fossil fuels are required to produce one calorie of food; construction of the average car requires twice the car's weight in fossil fuels; current US oil requirements are 83 million barrels a day; and on and on and on.

This site is well researched, well written, easy to understand, and rich with links to supplementary material. But it's probably not something you want to read before bed, especially if you're looking for a calm and restful night.

Link

Fun Flickr Tools

Flickr can be a fun toy in and of itself, but what really sets it apart is all the tools available for people to do cool things with. I lean toward these ones at Flagrant Disregard as the most interesting, but as always, YMMV.

The card shown here was made with FD's Trading Card Maker tool. I think it would be hilarious to make a set featuring my family and friends, but I don't have enough photos!

Link

Buzz Bunny

This is another oldie but goodie that needed to be posted because, for the love of God, stop trying to change Bugs Bunny!

Did anyone watch Tiny Toons? Because Tiny Toons was good. And so was Animaniacs, although I never really got into that as much. But the Loonatics go directly contrary to the spirit of Bugs Bunny: he's not an action star, he's a pacifist (mostly). He doesn't wear a black jumpsuit, he dresses in drag -- and looks pretty damn fine while he does it, too. Most important of all, Bugs is freaking funny. These Loonatics characters are... well, let's just say that saving a city from being destroyed by a giant comet isn't really all that funny, while tricking Yosemite Sam into shooting himself in the ass is.

Bugs Bunny is an icon. He was voted the number one cartoon character of all time by TV Guide. He has a star on the Walk of Fame. He survived a world war, and his cartoons from the '50s and '60s are just as entertaining fifty years later. This is not a character that needs "updating", this is a character that needs respect. Turning Bugs into Buzz (or Ace, I guess, because of some copyright somethingorother) is the last refuge of the lazy, tired, unimaginative, hack writers that seem to be running around in so many places these days.

Anyway. This is a great bit of satire and you should watch it.

Link

Kids Helping Kids

The World's Children's Prize For The Rights Of The Child is a wonderful group that recognizes the work of individuals in the fight against the oppression of children. The members of the selection committee are youth that have been victims of land mines, the sex trade, child labour, or other extreme difficulties. Craig Kielburger is this year's winner, the first individual from a developed nation to be the recipient of this honour. It should be noted that all of the nominated candidates receive a portion of the $100,000 USD prize that must then be used in their fight for the rights of children.

In 1995, at age 12, Mr. Kielburger founded Free the Children, is the largest worldwide network of children helping children through education. I was completely inspired when I started reading about Mr. Kielburger's passion at age 12, and the drive he still has for his work 11 years later. If everyone had even half the energy and desire to do good as Mr. Kielburger does, this world would be a remarkable place.

Ballsy, Boneheaded or Both

In 1860 the postmaster general in New Brunswick decided to make 5 cent stamps in his likeness.
From the newspaper article:

At a time when only Queen Victoria and her husband, Prince Albert, were considered suitable subjects for such an honour, Charles Connell defied convention, stunned his fellow colonial legislators and promptly lost his job by putting his portrait on the hot-selling five-cent denomination.

All of the stamps were destroyed, but now Sotheby's is auctioning off the proofs, and expects to get in the neighbourhood of $50,000.

Charles Connell's ego didn't seem to hurt his political career as he was re-elected to the New Brunswick legislature in 1864 as a strong advocate of Confederation and then became one of the new province's first MPs when he won a seat by acclamation in the federal election of 1867. He died, still an MP, in 1873.

Link to Edmonton Journal Article
Link to Article from The Canadian Philatelist

Prof's "Super Laptop" Scares Kid

I was talking with Rob today about how cool it would be to install a GPS transmitter in one of our servers. If it were ever stolen, you could hilariously walk up to the guy's front door and be all, "Excuse me, but, like, you've got our server...?"

It reminded me of this post on boingboing, where a prof goes into painful detail on not only the super high-tech security he has on his now stolen laptop, but the consequences that will befall said laptop thief should he ever be caught. It's funny just to imagine this kid filling his pants as each sentence ups the stakes of the crime.

Link (via boingboing)

Da Vinci Code Quest

Just like that Chris Kohler dude over at Wired, I got involved with the Da Vinci Code early. JCQ and I had stumbled across the webgame one lazy Saturday, and we did all right with it up to the point where it directly references the book -- which I found blatantly unfair. JCQ actually ran out and purchased the book that afternoon, and then we were able to complete the game.

The writing itself is... crappy. It's crappy, okay? But the story sucked me in so hard it left friction burns on my retinas. I couldn't put it down. I gave up TV. I was juggling my daily responsibilities so I could get back to reading the book.

Now the movie's coming out, and there's a renewed interest in the Da Vinci Code. So much so that Google has released a new webgame that ties in to the movie: 24 puzzles released until May 11, at which point they vanish. If you manage to solve all the puzzles, Sony Pictures is giving away nearly half a million dollars worth of swag -- but only to US residents, which is a total drag. It's swag drag.

Link (via Google Blog)